Merry Christmas to all my fans from upcountry, down under, across the pond, on the mainland, in my ohana, etc. etc. etc.  Here I am doing one of my most important royal duties...guarding this tree.  Don't know why--but my humans keep saying "don't touch; watch out! Be careful" anytime any of us get near this tree.  So moi with my acute powers of deduction know that it MUST be valuable.  

And for those of you skeptical....YES, dammit!  I can see the tree!!!!

I do know there are many things on this tree that are shining--yes even I can actually see them!  But alas they do NOT taste good.  (I've tried but don't tell--shhhh).  

Then I keep hearing about a 'Santa Claws" coming .....  Are they sure they don't mean Santa Paws??  I do not want something coming that in any shape or form resembles a pussy!   

Be good dear fans and enjoy the holidays....

Humans--Can't live without them--can't put them in a kennel!!

Can you See me?   This is moi sunbathing in our back yard.....believe it or not, Daddy is laying in the full sun about 20 feet from me.  I should be nearer to him but I just can't stand the heat....it bleaches my hair....and an Australian Princess can't be a beached out bum slut.  

But I'm torn because I want to be as close as possible to Daddy when he's home.

He needs me near him all the time.  Otherwise, seriously, what would he do?  He can't get up without me sticking my nose in his face at exactly 5:50 a.m. every day.  He can't watch TV unless I am right next  to his chair.  I even have to check on him every hour or so and lick his head--just to make sure he's awake!!    He can't go to the bathroom unless I am right at his feet or right outside the shower when he is there.  I even have to make him watch ME do by royal duties--otherwise he'd be bored....

Geez!  These humans are just so helpless!!

Whose hair looks better? Mine or my brother Eli's??  Well, like OMG.... mine of course...SOOOOOO  PRETTY.  My brother Eli's hair ...YUCK!!!!!!  I am exaggerating you say???  So be it...it's a Princess's prerogative.

So my dear dear two legged fans I am back.  I hope you didn't miss me...

Well, if you're wondering what I'm doing this summer I am going to Paris!!!

Okay,  well actually I'm staying home while my two-legged family gets to go on a fabulous vacation to Minnesota and spend time on a lake!  I'm jealous and I don't even know what a lake is!!!  

I guess this picture is...."take me along I'll be good, I miss you already...don't I look sad???!
 

Okay, dear dear fans...The good news is that I got to go to the beach with Daddy and the kids....I barked and barked and BARKED at those nasty white things.  I love the salty water but ohhhhh my!! how my insides churn and burn on the backside.   We stayed for hours and I was pooped out--literally and figuratively.

The bad news is that after I got home from the beach I learned it was a TRICK!!!   It was all part of Daddy's mad plot to give me a bath and a grooming using Aussie Mom's brushing techniques/torture.   And after two hours of brushing over two days....this is how i felt.

Seriously, I really felt like a zombie and was ready to eat the next person who even thought of brushing me!  But I never ate anybody..... yet (insert maniacal laugh here).

Okay, okay....maybe I exaggerate JUST a tad....honestly, Daddy keeps telling me is for my own good.  And you know...do NOT tell him....but I am beginning to think that he is right.  Because now I have more good news...Look at me!  

  

Happy Mother's Day to Me!!

Last month, I had a dream come true.  I was reunited with my Aussie Mum for a visit.   When she pulled up, I recognized the accent immediately and was so happy....THEN, wait for it....she said "get the combs!" and that was the last I remember after a brutal brushing where I got pummeled with that "collie comb" (nice name for an axe!  Sorry, Lassie!) and Daddy got pummeled for being WAY too soft on the girl.  And I thought Daddy was hard enough thank you very much.....

I will say that after an hour (probably because I blacked out during most of it), I looked MUCH better, felt POUNDS lighter and was just sooooo happy that I forgave Aussie Mum (mostly).   Daddy had enough wool for a sweater too!!

Here we are during happier parts of the visit!! I do look good don't I!?  Love you Aussie Mum--thanks for visiting!

FINALLY!!! I'm BAAACKKK!!

Okay, dear, dear fans....Daddy has been VERY naughty.  I keep telling him that my fans are demanding, yes demanding, updates and he says "yeah, yeah yeah" (And NOT in a good Beatles song way....)

Anyway, today I absolutely stomped my foot/feet down after I had the most wonderful two days of the new year.  First, I got to go the beach and eat waves!   Here I am getting ready for the beach with my two-legged sister Sophie...

And then here is the beach we went to....

We walked up and down this gorgeous beach, on the cliffs, and back again...and I got to bark at every single wave, catch a few in my mouth and run around until I got totally pooped out (literally and figuratively for those of my fans who know what happens when dogs ingest too much salt water). I even got to rub around in horse shit!!!  And got sticks and crap ALL OVER!!!  It was a BLAST....but I was STARVING afterwards....(hmmmm....wonder why???)

Daddy of course then INSISTED on a full bath, conditioner and brushing....all that gorgeous horse ca-ca smell down the drain!  Oh well, my next day was even more of a treat....

I GOT TO SEE AND HEAR MY AUSSIE MUM!!!!  We skyped her (who cares what that is) and I got to hear that wonderful accent....I perked right up and then we saw where I was born and lived for 8 weeks.  My Mum is just so beautiful....I saw Kerry who took care of me (my Aussie nanny sort of) and Papa Rob....oh the joy, the memories....Here's how I looked after the phone call:

Can you see the sheer JOY in my eyes???  Fine, I know I know, here comes another "where are her eyes joke"  ... but it's there....

Okay, Daddy has PROMISED moi that he NOT be so derelict in posting....we'll see.....those humans!  You can't live without them but they are just such a challenge to train.....

Sleeping with my Brother...

One of my favorite things to do is to sleep with my Brother.  He gives me my food everyday, he takes me on walks.  He's just about my size so I can relate....and I really don't mind when he sometimes uses me for a pillow!

Red, White and.....PURPLE????

Okay, so help me, if I end up looking like one of those old ladies in Church with blue/purple hair, I will absolutely NEVER speak to Daddy again....

The Frogs are BAAACCCKKK!!!!

Yes, dear friends....those horrible cane frogs are back.....  Well, honestly, I'm told by Daddy they are horrible.  Frankly, I can't see them or really anything else too small because this damn hair is in my eyes...

Seriously, though these horrible creatures must be awful because whenever Daddy sees one, he grabs it and hurls it through the air somewhere.....don't know where.... Oh, nevermind...I DO see lots of dead ones in the street.  They are about 3-4 inches long and quite large.  (Note to my dear friends---their size is disproportionately larger when they are flattened like a pancake on the road.)  Apparently, they put out this obnoxious secretion that will cause me just oodles of problems.  And with my sensitive princess tummy, goodness nows what would happen to a girl like me!

I thought behavior of Daddy's was WAY overkill--literally and figuratively--until my dear new friend Crispy (a spaniel across the way) almost died the other night with seizures after he got a hold of one of these creatures from the swap.  (Do we have a swamp near my house?  And just WHAT is a swamp? Oh you get my drift....)

So I am vigilant....see picture above.  Yes, this is me being vigilant.  Of course, it looks the same as me being alert, asleep, happy, whatever......but I know I'm being vigilant.

So far, the frogs don't seem to smell or taste good to me.  Granted, I've only seen the dead ones.  So far the dead mouse I found and rolled in was WAY better.....Daddy LOVED that but that's another story....

It's My Birthday and I'll Cry if I Wanna.....

Happy Birthday to Moi!  The Hawaiian Princess!!   Can't believe a human year has gone by (I hear I'm SEVEN in dog years but who's counting!)  What an amazing year....born to an amazing mum, nurtured by a phenomenal Aussie Mom and Dad, sent on a huge metal noise maker (I certainly remember THAT ride) and wound up in paradise.....

Sure I've had stomach issues, countless baths, more groomings than I care to count, but I have four humans who adore me (what's not to love!) and I guess three water beds, a custom-made pen, a throne to sleep in at night, toys, a Diva bell to ring when I go out, treats, treats treats and TOYS, makes me just a little spoiled.  I don't let on about that too much.....

But it's EXHAUSTING being sooooooo wonderful!

Okay, so I'm laying on an heirloom sofa....what IS the big deal...it's my Birthday!!!  Love to my brother Dig B in Western Australia....who WAS born first anyway???  

The best part of this whole journey is that Daddy has met some new and loving friends from my native land.  Thanks Lisa for your pictures, news, check-ins and just remembering that we came from the same stock.  (See how white I am....that's because of your present!!)

And SO much gratitude, regard, admiration and most of all LOVE for the Zammits.  Fiona you've been my rock and my reality check....you are NOT kidding when you say these pups are yours forever.  Rob--so many times I've looked into putting us on a plane and coming to YOUR clinic.   Your patients and their owners are truly blessed!   The energy you all have to breed, show, take care of, hospitalize, televise, and entertain pets is unnerving. Daddy gets teary when he thinks about the special bond that we all have....and it's all because of ME!!!!

Love to all my fans....

I Feel Pretty! I feel Pretty!

Oh lordy, lordy......this picture of my brother in Western Australia made my day!  I keep it posted next to my water bed to show Daddy.  If he even thinks to make a comment about my muzzle being wet, a little dirt on me, or just a little smell (who me??) I just go over and bark at Dig B's picture...."THIS  could be ME Daddy!!!"

Of course, I wouldn't ever let on that I'm jealous.....it looks like SOOOO much fun.   But woe is me, the trials and tribulations of being a Princess!  One MUST keep up appearances....

Better NOT be a trend....

Can you believe this?  I've been asking and begging for a crown....and THIS is what I get....

So help me...if the pink booties come out, I'm back to Australia!  

Just WHO do you think YOU are!?

One of my favorite things is going to our local dog park.  It's at the Humane Society....whatever that means.  Doesn't sound very humane to me because they keep all the dogs in cages there all the time. But they have this GREAT park where I can go, get muddy, fun with other dogs and bathe!

And THEN this dog tried to get in the pool with me....the nerve....Doesn't he know that WE like to spread out in our bath!   I splashed and chased him out but then we ran around again and again.....The joy of the hunt--okay we're just hunting each others' butts, but it still envigorating.  Of course, Daddy is quite nervous when I'm there because he thinks that is where my tummy problems starting.  (YUMMMMMY that water tasted oh so good!)  But I think those days are behind me now.....

I PASSED!! I PASSED!! And I Didn't Even Study!!!

Okay, wait for it....I must compose myself....Deep breath....Breathe....Sigh.  

Okay, I'm back.....Yes, Dear, Dear Subjects (I mean readers)....Your Hawaiian Princess is further supported in her acknowledged lineage as an Aussie-Hawaiian Princess.  After a grueling, and I do mean GRUELING, eye exam by an ophthalmologist, I received my certification that my eyes are A-OK.

The angst, the trouble, the blurry vision I had to put up with.....but it was worth it to attest that my eyes--as the rest of me--is PERFECT!!!  Aussie Mom had no worries but she verified it with an Australian doctor (just to be sure because one can't always believe these Yanks!)

Here I am with my certiificate with my loyal sister subject, Sophie.....

What does this mean?!  How the hell do I know..... Oh nevermind.....Daddy tells me that this is one step toward me getting preggers and having champion pups and keeping my lineage alive...

Preggers....I have NO idea what that entails but it does sound like oodles of fun....Daddy says that happens when I'm a "woman fully growed" in the famous words of Tammy.....

Okay, I hear the cottonwoods whistling above.....bettter sign off.  I'm STILL waiting for my celebratory cake but Daddy says it would be bad for my tummy....

I'm Gonna Wash that Man Right Outta My Hair....

Hello MatildaFans!   I do NOT mean that I want to wash Daddy out of my hair....although I do wish that sometimes he wouldn't wash my hair so much.  Doesn't he know that grunge is IN for my people???

As I side note, I hope you know that "South Pacific" was filmed on my island sooooo my singing that song is so very appropriate and natural! It is one of our theme songs here on the island....And of course, we do love our pool!

My favorite FAVORITE thing to do is make Daddy wash me all clean, use ALL of his expensive soaps and potions......THEN just when he's ready to dry me, I escape and run ALLLLLL over the yard getting as dirty as I can immediately.  Did you know that dirt sucks up onto fur much more quickly when you're wet!?  Well I discovered that quite easily!

Naturally, I can only pull this trick about 1-2 times before "We are not amused" becomes "Daddy is pissed!"

But it is jolly good fun while it lasts and I get to prolong the joy of my pool.

The Party's Over....

Now I know how little Cindy Lu felt when the Grinch stole Christmas!  The tree is soooo bare and I keep looking for more presents!   Of course, the Grinch didn't steel all my presents....ummmm....I ate them!

Now my tummy hurts and Dr. Rob says I must be on a very bland diet for a while.  BUMMER...but I get to eat slippery elm (oh yeah, can't fool me...Daddy tells me it's ALL the rage down under but we Princesses know better!)..... I want me kibbles! and Treats!  Where's my gourmet duck boob that Daddy always gives me to get in my crate at night?  Oh WHAT'S a Princess to do!!!???

I must say, if I do say so myself, that I was MAR-VAH-LUS with this tree thing....I didn't eat ONE ornament (yet!).  NO fences for THIS girl.....I would MUCH rather eat those slippahs that everyone wears here.....

Oh well, wishing ALL my fans a very Happy New Year....especially my Aussie family and friends.   Thanks to Aussie Mum and Dr. Rob for being there....always.  Hugs....

When the Tough Get Dirty, the Tough go....

....Swimming!  Yes, my friends I have my own pool!  Don't you just love the decoration...hand painted by tiny Chinese workers too!  (okay I made that last part up!).    Daddy puts me in here sometimes when I get dirty.  I had just found a wonderful mud puddle. Can you tell??

The only challenge is that after a while, I feel VERY VERY heavy and carrying a huge wool rug on my back is so tiring.....but it's OOOOOHHHHHH so worth it!

P.S.  See I'm NOT so big....but I am up to 52 pounds!!!

What the (*&^!!???

Please excuse my language in the above title...but WE are NOT amused!!!   Okay, I am a PRINCESS.....that has been firmly established.  I am NOT some run-of-the-mill trollop half-breed bitch from the Outback.   So WHAT is Daddy thinking?  He kept saying that Aussie Mom approved it.   So NOW I'm supposed to wear THIS appendage on my coiffure?!  Sorry, dear fans---I'm NOT buying that this is supposed to be some sort of crown....I would've been ecstatic if it was rhinestones at a minimum, diamonds preferably.  But THIS?!   Come on' Daddy...where's the love????

A Humble Mahalo!

Today dear friends is what we call "Thanksgiving."  I know that my Aussie roots don't know this holiday although my Aussie family does celebrate.  Go Colts!!  But I've learned that it is a day that Daddy stays home, my brother and sister have no school, and there are LOTS of great smells in the house.  And everyone is saying "Thank you" a lot...

So.....to get into the groove, even a Princess like moi can be thankful for lots of things in my young life.  I'm six months old now by the way and I am STILL waiting for presents (but I digress)....

I am most thankful that my Daddy found my wonderful Aussie Mom almost a year ago.  From their first cell phone call when Aussie Mom was coming back from a rowing tournament, they have remained in constant contact and I know they were together across the ocean every step of the way from my conception, birth, first 8 weeks of life (Thank you Sam for not sitting on me!), to my horrendous trip across the ocean in that noisy tin box, to finally being in Daddy's arms.  Daddy still is in contact with her almost every day.  Thanks, Aussie Mom, for telling Daddy NOT to hand feed me anymore....but I forgive you.   Seriously, what Princess could've asked for a better beginning!?

I am thankful that Aussie Mom is somehow connected to Dr. Rob (they sure seem awfully friendly???) who knows sooooooooo much about us four-legged Princesses!  What a true gift to be connected to him...what a find?!  I know I'm so healthy because Aussie Mom and Dr. Rob are in cahoots.....

I am thankful that my brother Dig B landed in an awesome home (Aussie Mom sure does pick 'em huh?) where he gets to get dirty every, single day! And run after sheep and everything!

I am thankful for my wonderful family....Daddy, Papa, Sophie and Eli treat me quite well thank you.  Some people say I am spoiled rotten---don't know if it's the three water beds, the gourmet food, the 15 different types of treats, the expensive hair dryer, or my fabulous new daytime dog suite? But I say "let them eat cake!"  I love the ocean, the breeze that blows through my house, riding in Daddy's truck, and playing, playing, playing.

But most of all I'm just thankful that I just AM....I'm allowed to be my best, play, run, lob, and just BE....I'm most humbled.  And for a Princess THAT says a lot...

And now it's my turn to say "Happy Thanksgiving!" to all my friends and fans....

Me and my Throne....

Finally!   I finally received my throne...being a Hawaiian Princess, I expected no less.  It just took Daddy a while to "allow" me (read: GIVE IN) to me being adorable and sitting in this marvelous chair.....As Goldilocks says,....."It's JUUUUST right!"  (And it's even (okay, used to be) WHITE!!!!  Oh, and I did get a bath right after this....