Merry Christmas to all my fans from upcountry, down under, across the pond, on the mainland, in my ohana, etc. etc. etc.  Here I am doing one of my most important royal duties...guarding this tree.  Don't know why--but my humans keep saying "don't touch; watch out! Be careful" anytime any of us get near this tree.  So moi with my acute powers of deduction know that it MUST be valuable.  

And for those of you skeptical....YES, dammit!  I can see the tree!!!!

I do know there are many things on this tree that are shining--yes even I can actually see them!  But alas they do NOT taste good.  (I've tried but don't tell--shhhh).  

Then I keep hearing about a 'Santa Claws" coming .....  Are they sure they don't mean Santa Paws??  I do not want something coming that in any shape or form resembles a pussy!   

Be good dear fans and enjoy the holidays....

Humans--Can't live without them--can't put them in a kennel!!

Can you See me?   This is moi sunbathing in our back yard.....believe it or not, Daddy is laying in the full sun about 20 feet from me.  I should be nearer to him but I just can't stand the heat....it bleaches my hair....and an Australian Princess can't be a beached out bum slut.  

But I'm torn because I want to be as close as possible to Daddy when he's home.

He needs me near him all the time.  Otherwise, seriously, what would he do?  He can't get up without me sticking my nose in his face at exactly 5:50 a.m. every day.  He can't watch TV unless I am right next  to his chair.  I even have to check on him every hour or so and lick his head--just to make sure he's awake!!    He can't go to the bathroom unless I am right at his feet or right outside the shower when he is there.  I even have to make him watch ME do by royal duties--otherwise he'd be bored....

Geez!  These humans are just so helpless!!

Whose hair looks better? Mine or my brother Eli's??  Well, like OMG.... mine of course...SOOOOOO  PRETTY.  My brother Eli's hair ...YUCK!!!!!!  I am exaggerating you say???  So be it...it's a Princess's prerogative.

So my dear dear two legged fans I am back.  I hope you didn't miss me...

Well, if you're wondering what I'm doing this summer I am going to Paris!!!

Okay,  well actually I'm staying home while my two-legged family gets to go on a fabulous vacation to Minnesota and spend time on a lake!  I'm jealous and I don't even know what a lake is!!!  

I guess this picture is...."take me along I'll be good, I miss you already...don't I look sad???!
 

Okay, dear dear fans...The good news is that I got to go to the beach with Daddy and the kids....I barked and barked and BARKED at those nasty white things.  I love the salty water but ohhhhh my!! how my insides churn and burn on the backside.   We stayed for hours and I was pooped out--literally and figuratively.

The bad news is that after I got home from the beach I learned it was a TRICK!!!   It was all part of Daddy's mad plot to give me a bath and a grooming using Aussie Mom's brushing techniques/torture.   And after two hours of brushing over two days....this is how i felt.

Seriously, I really felt like a zombie and was ready to eat the next person who even thought of brushing me!  But I never ate anybody..... yet (insert maniacal laugh here).

Okay, okay....maybe I exaggerate JUST a tad....honestly, Daddy keeps telling me is for my own good.  And you know...do NOT tell him....but I am beginning to think that he is right.  Because now I have more good news...Look at me!  

  

Happy Mother's Day to Me!!

Last month, I had a dream come true.  I was reunited with my Aussie Mum for a visit.   When she pulled up, I recognized the accent immediately and was so happy....THEN, wait for it....she said "get the combs!" and that was the last I remember after a brutal brushing where I got pummeled with that "collie comb" (nice name for an axe!  Sorry, Lassie!) and Daddy got pummeled for being WAY too soft on the girl.  And I thought Daddy was hard enough thank you very much.....

I will say that after an hour (probably because I blacked out during most of it), I looked MUCH better, felt POUNDS lighter and was just sooooo happy that I forgave Aussie Mum (mostly).   Daddy had enough wool for a sweater too!!

Here we are during happier parts of the visit!! I do look good don't I!?  Love you Aussie Mum--thanks for visiting!

FINALLY!!! I'm BAAACKKK!!

Okay, dear, dear fans....Daddy has been VERY naughty.  I keep telling him that my fans are demanding, yes demanding, updates and he says "yeah, yeah yeah" (And NOT in a good Beatles song way....)

Anyway, today I absolutely stomped my foot/feet down after I had the most wonderful two days of the new year.  First, I got to go the beach and eat waves!   Here I am getting ready for the beach with my two-legged sister Sophie...

And then here is the beach we went to....

We walked up and down this gorgeous beach, on the cliffs, and back again...and I got to bark at every single wave, catch a few in my mouth and run around until I got totally pooped out (literally and figuratively for those of my fans who know what happens when dogs ingest too much salt water). I even got to rub around in horse shit!!!  And got sticks and crap ALL OVER!!!  It was a BLAST....but I was STARVING afterwards....(hmmmm....wonder why???)

Daddy of course then INSISTED on a full bath, conditioner and brushing....all that gorgeous horse ca-ca smell down the drain!  Oh well, my next day was even more of a treat....

I GOT TO SEE AND HEAR MY AUSSIE MUM!!!!  We skyped her (who cares what that is) and I got to hear that wonderful accent....I perked right up and then we saw where I was born and lived for 8 weeks.  My Mum is just so beautiful....I saw Kerry who took care of me (my Aussie nanny sort of) and Papa Rob....oh the joy, the memories....Here's how I looked after the phone call:

Can you see the sheer JOY in my eyes???  Fine, I know I know, here comes another "where are her eyes joke"  ... but it's there....

Okay, Daddy has PROMISED moi that he NOT be so derelict in posting....we'll see.....those humans!  You can't live without them but they are just such a challenge to train.....